Alexandra Kelley

So being as this is a holiday week that several religions profess to have a “savior” or rather Jesus Christ himself  having risen from the dead after 3 days, I always have pondered the ultimate question for those religious fanatics out there;  Would it be considered Necrophilia to have had sex with “Jesus” after he had risen from the dead?    Or is the dead part then just erased like Buffy the Vampire Slayer when she came back from the dead?  I mean granted she was just a little “off” and only a Vampire  held any sexual appeal for her but still.  Then I again I suppose Vampire sex is technically necrophilia isn’t it?  I’m actually curious as to what you think the answer might be.   Crucifixions and Sacrilegious Phone sex have been prominent this week.. not that I mind it at all, I do find it fascinating.  Will you come to me and suffer for your beliefs?  Or do you perhaps not believe as you should, being weak and malleable – easily corrupted by someone such as myself ~smile

Speaking of fascinating religious freaks.. its time to reveal my most secret amusement.  The  good people at Landover Baptist never fail to provide one with a plethora of amusements.  I do admit when I first found the site I was a bit stunned.  Surely nothing could be that perfectly suited for my endless fascination.  To my great joy I was proven wrong!  What is not to like about headlines like : “Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer’s Testicles?” and “American Children Hooked on Demonic Masturbation Toy!“  They even have quizzes and a forum!  Not to mention huge sections on witchcraft & demonology as well as those naughty Homosexuals ~laugh~I freely admit to spending HOURS on this site delving into the psyche of  the creators of this website, after all… how could I possibly walk away from this:

“True Christian™ Warning:
We Are Conservative, Godly, Republican, and Unstoppable!
We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil’s business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!  If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we’ll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!”

For more information on the Landover folks.. I HIGHLY suggest that you visit their website.  It may just clear up your doubts about your own religion. Be sure to stop by the Gift Shop and have some fun there as well – who doesn’t need a “heathen” thong?

Aren’t you feeling much more like worshipping at My altar now? I do so look forward to corrupting you.  Just think.. there is a fantastic Easter Sunday special with your name on it.  20 minutes for the price of 15 – all day long.  This might come in handy for you poor International bastards who have been cut off from Niteflirt.  Far too many restrictions there anyway, don’t you think?  Wander into My parlour, you wont regret the journey.

Expose Your Soul at AlexandraKelley.com